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Believe You can Fly

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Emma Bauer, Staff Writer

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Looking for advice on how to survive the rest of the school year, while convincing everyone that, sure, you may still be alive inside? Well, friend, you’ve come to the right place!

Know that you may or may not be able to do this. Sure, thousands, millions of people have graduated high school before you, but you may be the one exception! Hey, that means you’re special. You’re in a category all your own.

As for convincing everyone you may (notice I like that word. It means whatever I’m saying is open to interpretation. Nothing is guaranteed, kiddos!) be alive inside, it helps if you convey this by smiling a little too much and acting a little too happy in front of classmates and teachers. Also, blink really slowly and very infrequently. This will ensure your eyes stay open as long as possible. My logic: if you’re alive, your eyes are open. Easy. This could show everyone, “hey, they’re alive!” or they may think, “what is wrong with them?”

Don’t be afraid to open up. Getting your inner feelings off your chest will open yourself up to even more stuff coming your way before the year closes out!

Did you know figurative language is a great self-motivator? Oh, yeah. Similes are a personal favorite of mine. Just compare yourself to a rocket hurtling into space, en route to the moon. Sounds fun, right? Scenic, too. Well, to make it more colorful, imagine one of your engines is on fire!

I hope that some of these techniques help you get through the rest of this year. If you have any strategies of your own, feel free to employ those as well! Best of luck! You may just make it!

 

“The Turnip” is a source of parody, satire, and humor and is for entertainment purposes only. Said posts or stories may or may not use real names, always in semi-real and/or mostly, or substantially, fictitious ways. Therefore, all news articles contained within “The Turnip” are works of fiction and constitute fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.
About the Writer
Emma Bauer, Staff Writer

My name is Emma Bauer. I’m a senior at Keller High School, and this is (sadly) my third and final year on The Wigwam staff as a staff writer. My favorite...

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Believe You can Fly