$1 Stackers at Taco Bell more Sinister than Originally Thought

Emma Bauer, Staff Writer

Well. They’ve finally won. Those who believe in the Illuminati have won. They were right. And this massive change to our world came in the form of a delicious, meaty and cheesy lunchtime treat. One dollar gets you more than you think, they claim, and there are far more sidelong glances thrown at the camera for my taste in a Taco Bell commercial. They are definitely hiding something.

But in reality, has it been them all along? Have they been the source of all of this inquiry, all of this strife? Has Beyoncé been hanging out in the back of Taco Bell all this time, as many speculate she is an active member of the Illuminati? Where are the connections? Who knows what is really going on, and better yet, who will share???

Also, if anyone is interested, popular items at Taco Bell include their black bean burrito, nachos supreme, crunchwrap supreme, their chalupas, and their cheesy potato burrito! Erm…

Maybe the secret is actually inside the Stacker. An invite? Does it taste like paper? Or does that commercial implement a mind control device that just persuades us that everything is normal and the Illuminati is just a joke? The Belluminati is here. They are coming. And we cannot escape. Maybe we are just eating mind control devices directly. Mmm…secrets.