Christmas All the Time


Celeste Bleeker, Staff Writer

The crisp smell of pine wafts through the air as I walk through the massive aisles at Costco. Christmas trees provide the main source of light as I walk this dark path, scanning for half-off ornaments. Strains of “Jingle Bells” echo through the store and I ponder the meaning of all this Christmas attire that people are wearing…….in October.

So many people succumb to the dark side, choosing to erect their Christmas trees weeks before Thanksgiving has even begun. Baubles and reindeer are displayed in yards and homes, candy canes are served to the dismay of many a guest.

I interviewed a victim of this unnecessary early holiday attack, Herman Enrico Leonard Partinski. “It’s just too early!” he sobbed. “I can’t stand it any longer! My wife is constantly humming ‘White Christmas.’ I tell her…I tell her, ‘Honey, please. It’s only July,’ but she never listens. She just smiles like they do in those toothpaste commercials and says something about ‘holiday cheer’ or that I’m ‘just not jolly.'”

A shelver at a local Wal-Mart, who wishes to remain anonymous, said, “ I just don’t understand it. We have the Halloween and Christmas decorations right next to each other. It gets very confusing”, he shrugged. “Like we have the candy canes right next to the candy corn. How are people supposed to know which holiday it is? I sure don’t know.”

We need to understand that this is a lurking issue in America today. When we are being forced to celebrate Christmas too early by “loving” spouses and families, how are we supposed to enjoy fall? Please help end this perpetual Christmas by gently admonishing all offenders and sending them to a holiday-correction facility.