Thanksgiving Carols

Thomas Winzeler, Assistant Editor

On November 15, inside a box labeled “Unwritten Songs” in Frank Sinatra’s music collection, a whole new set of songs was discovered. The unwritten songs were holiday songs and they’re not for the holiday you think.

The unwritten songs were made for Thanksgiving. One of Frank Sinatra’s grandkids, who was there when the songs were discovered, was shocked they was for Thanksgiving.

“I didn’t know that it was for Thanksgiving! Not until I read the lyrics.”  A folder with all the song in it had the words, in big bold letters, “THANKSGIVING CAROLS”. With the words “These songs are for Thanksgiving!” written for the first three lines of the page of each song. A note was found in the folder. The note read “I thought that Thanksgiving was an ignored holiday. So that’s why I wrote these songs. If I’m dead and I haven’t sung these yet and you’re just finding them, please have someone sing them.” Sinatra’s family just laughed and reportedly said they didn’t want anyone to sing these songs. The songs will go into a vault and people will continue to ignore Thanksgiving as a holiday.

The songs are mostly just Christmas songs with the words or themes of Christmas replaced with thanksgiving. “All I want for Christmas” is changed to “All I Want for Thanksgiving.” The song goes like this: “All I want for Thanksgiving is my two front teeth, my two front teeth, All I want for Thanksgiving is my two front teeth! So I can eat that turkey.” The song “Wonderful Time of the Year” has more simple changes. The lyrics for that song are “It’s the most, wonderful time of the year! There’re dinners for hosting, turkeys for roasting and stuffing for stuffing. There’ll be scary ghost stories and tales of turkey’s being killed from thanksgivings long long ago.” Obviously, these songs weren’t written by a man who was desperate for more money, resulting in him mashing together Thanksgiving and Christmas carols.

These songs won’t likely ever see the light of day and will never be heard on the radio. We’re the only people to show you this. So don’t question us. Because if you do and look up this info, you’ll be arrested because it’s illegal. Much like Hillary Clinton’s wiki-leak emails. You will be arrested if you look at both.

Have a Happy Thanksgiving, everyone!