A Blast from the Past

A Blast from the Past

Hi, we’re Mackenzie Tomlinson and Haley Goodman! One day we discovered a time machine in the field behind the portables, so we decided to fix the worst tragedies in history, starting with…our middle school selves. Twelve-year-old Mackenzie and Haley were some of the worst human beings in the world. They enjoyed Magcon, dubstep, and tennis shoes with jeans. We decided to interview them so we could get to the root of the problem, and prevent future atrocities from happening.

Mackenzie: Oh my gosh, here we are! In our seventh grade study hall.

7th grade Mackenzie: Oh EM GIZZLE!!! You look just like me XD except you’re not wearing a Delia’s shirt 🙁 don’t u know FASHION XD

Haley: How are you saying that.

7th grade Haley: May b u should LEARN about other people’s STRUGGLES b4 u judge them:) swety

Mackenzie: This is gonna be harder than we thought.

The interview begins…

Haley: So, Haley, what are you interested in?

7th grade Haley: WELLLLL xD., i luv softball. Team b4 everything. I also luv TEEN WOLF, DYLAN O’BRIEN IS BAEEEEEEE!!!!!! I also have a Glogster, follow me:)

Haley: How was I allowed to exist?

Mackenzie: What about you, 12-year-old me? Got anything better?

7th grade Mackenzie: I love :)) hanging out with my girls, harry potter<3 and my AWESOME BF ALEX BIEHL <333333333

Mackenzie: Speaking is a privilege, not a right. You have lost that privilege.

Haley: So catch me up to speed guys! What is popular nowadays?

7th grade Mackenzie: Well….everyone loves da five SEXEH boys from BRITAIN ONE DIRECTION <3 Im related to LOUIS LO!!!! But my real fav is ZAYN heart eyes emoji I LOVE HIM SO MUCH babay you light up my world like nobody else! XD

7th grade Haley: Okay… I am too hipster to know who that even is?? I listen to REAL music of the mostly ALTERNATIVE genre. Like F.U.N and The Wanted. Songs like Somebody That I Used TO Know by Gotye and Glad You Came are real JAMS, no room for arguments there.

Mackenzie: Wow, that’s some real underground music you listen to. You are so unique! As for me, I hope you get those issues worked out. 🙂

Haley: Well… sounds like y’all have some serious problems. Give me the inside scoop on your ‘social lives’! Anything really bothering your conscience right now?

7th grade Mackenzie: Glad you asked! Well earlier today, Emma, like, said that Zayn was like, hers! But that’s like, impossible because he’s MINE. Also, Haley has A HUGEEEEE crush LOL I don’t eeevn know what she sees in him.

Mackenzie: Look who’s talking, but you have a point. Haley I remember Mrs. Tharp’s history class and all the gum disputes we had over the years.

7th grade Haley: Okay, well… I never admitted to liking HIM. All I did was squish him behind a couch and let him have first dibs at my gum packet OKAY?

7th grade Mackenzie: LOL that sounds sooo wrong XD

7th grade Haley: NOT LIKE THAT WAY!! OMG I’M NOT INTO THAT. He just always asks for the gum first…

Haley: Okay, let’s move on…

Mackenzie: So what are your goals for high school?

7th grade Haley: So, I plan to play varsity softball by the time I’m a sophomore. I want to fall in love with a boy, preferably a hot one. And be at LEAST in the top 10.

Haley: Well.. no spoilers but that last one is definitely a little far-fetched. Hot boys though? You’ll get enough of them trust me…

7th grade Mackenzie: What about me? 😮

Haley: Um…

Mackenzie: ANY OTHER GOALS

7th grade Mackenzie: I want to sing my heart out in SHOW CHOIR 🙂 Singing is my passion. Nothing else matters/

7th grade Haley: Is that why you lip synced last period??

7th grade Mackenzie: HOW….DARE YOU. I-

Mackenzie: Doesn’t look like there’s a solution to these horrible humans besides time and maturation. We’re so much better now!

Haley: Yeah… Totally…