The Steps to Not Dropping Out of High School

The Steps to Not Dropping Out of High School

Emily Semlow, Staff Writer

Step One: If you must insist on procrastinating, you must first master the art of it.

Over the years I’ve worked on finding more ways to procrastinate than actually doing my work. The process of it all has gone from doing homework the class period before hand, to completing an incomplete paper as the teacher is going over the assignment in class.

So, really, the art of procrastinating lies in how you manipulate your resources, treating certain points in class as the tutorials you’ll never attend.

Step Two: Don’t procrastinate on any reading assignments. There’s no way around them and it’s not worth putting yourself through that Hell. Trust me, I would know.

I’m sorry, Mr. Snyder, I only ever read The Perks of Being a Wallflower in your Pre-AP English II class. But in all reality, don’t act like reading the book assigned is the worst thing in the world. You’re actually assigned interesting books, and if you can’t catch on quickly with the plot of the book in class discussions, I fully recommend reading them and taking in what you can.

Step Three: Make sure you know when things are due and how lenient your teacher is when you turn that paper in late.

Some teachers will never take off late points for your work. Some teachers will never take off late points for your work if they like you. And some teachers will never notice that you turned in a paper late if you stuff it in the middle of everyone else’s work in the turn-in tray after school, or if you’re lucky, the next day.

My sophomore year was my prime time for turning in things late, though, I suppose it wasn’t truly late.

I had been in the hospital with a double kidney infection and was out for a week. With one mention of the word hospital, every teacher gave me their sympathy and told me to take all the time I needed to get my work in. That word was a magical word, almost as magical as the meds they put me on in the hospital to put me out of my misery.

I also had a bad habit of taking my procrastination too far and decided to not use my free time in my photojournalism class, where the teacher only talked for five minutes, if that, in a class that was over an hour, to complete my work that I had neglected the night before.

Step Four: Sleep is for the weak.

Just kidding; it’s important. School is a place where your brain needs to function even though it won’t 98 percent of the time.

Maybe you should try coffee or an energy drink.

If you’re like me, there will be that one low point in your school career where you stay up just about all night. If you only have enough time to get about an hour of sleep and you’re not tired, don’t force yourself to sleep. You’re almost better off with no sleep than killing yourself with the short lived best sleep of your life. Trust me; learn from my experience of staying up until 6:00 a.m. and having to get up at 6:30 a.m. not your own.

Step Five: If you happen to be a functioning insomniac, naps in school can be to your benefit. Just don’t get caught.

Class period 4B, WHAP (World History Advanced Placement). That was my designated nap class. I always ensured that my back was facing the front of the classroom, and while we were doing notes or watching a video, I would strategically rest my head on my hand like I was paying attention and writing, but really I would be asleep. Thank goodness my teacher never caught me; she had a tradition of stamping people’s faces with a pirate stamp when they fell asleep.

Step Six: Tutorials? Tutorials.

You’re not as smart as you think. *Prepares for angsty teen arguments.*

When I was in ninth grade, seniors gave us a lecture of the realities of high school which was suppose to nerve the unnerved and give a wake up call for those of us who thought high school was going to be a breeze. The only thing I really took from it was the fact that all of us were going to have to go to tutorials at one point or another to be successful. Naturally, I decided then and there that I would never attend a tutorial.

Needless to say, I passed Pre-AP Geometry with a 69.5 percent for my sophomore year.

Step Seven: Senioritis doesn’t kick in until junior year. Don’t pretend to be cool; you’ll only look back and realize that you were that cringy freshman.

*Looks back at freshman year and regrets everything.*

Step Eight: Be careful what classes you skip or are tardy to; some teachers care. These are probably also the teachers who get mad when you decide to take a nap in their class.

What? I’m not promoting skipping.

Really, though, school is important and really interesting if you look at it from the right perspective.

Step Nine: And finally, don’t be afraid of dogs. When drugs dogs come around and you start having a panic attack, it gets super sketchy.  

I’m the girl who will scream and run as fast as I can away from a dog. There’s no logical explanation. I mean, I used to get chased by dogs when I went out selling Girl Scout cookies, but I was already afraid of dogs before then.

Either way, having the drug dogs come around and cowering in the corner like you’d rather be anywhere else, though that’s how the majority of students and some teachers feel anyways (I mean, I had a teacher beg our class to give him good reviews just so he could continue to do nothing all day), it doesn’t come across as the most innocent thing in the world.

I know the majority of high school students always claim that they’re going to drop out of school, and lots of them never follow through on it. My plan was to be a hobo in California (the garbage is surprisingly organized there) and eventually become a writer like J.K. Rowling did. That was never a very good plan. It needed more thought put into it. But these are the steps of how to not drop out of high school, not how to become homeless.

Really, just remember the art of procrastination and that sleep is a vital asset and you’ll be fine.

Or you could be a useful member of society and actually study and do your work.

Your choice.