Keller: The ‘Must Visit’ City of the Year

Keller: The 'Must Visit' City of the Year

Thomas Winzeler, Asparagus Editor

The city of Keller has been rated one of the “must visit” places of the year by TripAdvisor! As per a bet Mr. Taylor and his wife made, he said that Keller wouldn’t get rated one of the “must visit” places of the year, while his wife said yes, it would be, so now he must stand in front of the Keller water tower in an Indianettes outfit yelling, “I WAS WRONG! KELLER IS THE BEST! SO IS MY WIFE!” We don’t have a picture, but trust us that it happened. 

Why was Keller rated the must visit places of the year? Well, the chicken places, fast food, Tom Thumb, Old Town Keller, and what else we have. Keller is such a good city! Many say it’s boring and they rather go to Southlake, but those people are traitors to the Keller Empire. We will one day rule the world! Everyone must FEAR! THE! SPEAR!

Long live Keller!