Alternative Valentine’s Day Gifts for Yours Truly

Michelle Mirza, Editorials/Two Cents & That's Rad Editor

As every one’s absolutely favorite and cherished holiday quickly approaches, the opportunity to spice things up a bit with your significant other is at large. This Valentine’s Day, save the boxed chocolates for you and your usual self-deprecating 3 am sob sessions, and treat your lover with something that’s different and free of cliches this season.

Since we all know relationships require an incredible amount of effort that some people just don’t seem to have the time for (understandable – naps are a priority), I’ve done the work for you and compiled a list of alternative Valentine’s Day gifts that will surely have your beloved Pookeybear in the palm of your hands.

  1. Your soul (only applicable if you have one)
  2. Your actual heart (I find scalpels aren’t as messy for extraction)
  3. A necklace with your face on it (don’t want them forgetting that you own them as if they’re a piece of property)
  4. An arm
  5. A leg (since most of the time the gifts you buy cost an arm and a leg anyways)
  6. A giant stuffed bear with a camera conveniently installed inside (so you can keep tabs on your significant other at all times – don’t want them getting lost right into someone else’s arms, am I right?)
  7. One of your ears (sharing is caring, and hey, it worked for Van Gogh…sort of)
  8. Dead flowers (roses and live flowers are SO overrated)
  9. A box of chocolates, but replace the chocolates with all the things your partner is doing wrong (relationships where you grow together are truly inspiring)
  10. Your love (unrequited may be acceptable in some cases)