10 Ways to Prepare for the Trump Presidency


Mackenzie Tomlinson, Spotlight Editor

  1. Establish dual citizenship as soon as possible in another civilized nation.
  2. Invest in an underground bunker capable of withstanding nuclear force.
  3. Follow Trump on Twitter to get important alerts on how your rights will be violated in the future.
  4. Invest in a trusted spray tan brand to mimic our new leader.
  5. Peruse real estate in Canada.
  6. Watch the Netflix show “Doomsday Preppers,” and take notes.
  7. Read “The Hunger Games,” and write down the winning strategies.
  8. Learn the song “Do you hear the people sing.”
  9. Memorize the Constitution and know your rights.
  10. Keep a scrapbook of your life up to this point to show your kids what it was like before the Great War.