Keller High School To Do Without Air Conditioning

Armando Tellez, Asparagus Staff

Effective for the  2017-2018 school year, Keller High School will unplug their air conditioning units for good. This comes as a result of a petition signed by 500+ concerned Keller ISD parents.

“I’m so glad they’re finally listening to us. I was always so worried about my daughter Florence. She would always come home cold as ice. I swear those air conditioning units are the incarnation of evil,” said Mary Williams, mother of two students attending Keller High School.

For years students at Keller High School have had to endure extreme fluctuations in temperature as they made their way to their classes. One student who wished to remain anonymous described to us the time he lost feeling in his hands during Geometry class. The temperature had been so cold he almost lost his index finger. Thanks to the latest decision, Keller High School’s students will be safe to focus in Geometry class.

“KHS life was filled with uncertainty before this decision. I never knew what to wear. At times my English classroom would be the equivalent of the North Pole, and at other times it would be boiling. It was just too much uncertainty for me. Wearing the wrong clothes could mean the difference between life and death,” said Bobby Winterbottom, a senior describing his traumatic experience for the benefit of future generations.
This does not mean that measures were not taken to fix the problem in the past. The maintenance team at Keller High School would attempt to fix it year after year, wrestling with the old untamable beast, but did so without success. But people shouldn’t grieve over the loss of the air conditioning. Right after announcing its decision, Keller ISD stated that this would mean that money would be directed in the direction of building a Quidditch pitch at school, along with many other exciting projects.