Plagoo

Plagoo

Alec Harward

Staff Writer

First, we had the Ebola panic, which is still a very real threat. Then we had the West Nile virus popping back up again, which is also still a pretty big issue. Unfortunately for us, the human race, we have yet another fatal disease that has sprung up in the depths of the Keller sewer system.

We here at the KHS Wigwam have a few very significant people informing for us on a recently new microorganism named “Blanco Plagoo,” after its founder Swanz Plagoo, a Swedish biologist who found this deadly organism inside an ancient Aztec temple. The first part of its name, “Blanco,” which clearly means “black” in his native language, refers to this organism’s color.

These tiny organisms clump together in damp areas. That explains why this pathogen thrived in places such as the Keller sewer and the KHS water treatment storage shed.

These tiny microorganisms’ effects include sore throat, fatigue, and headache. It is easily disguised as the common cold, but with one major twist: Your limbs will fall off after 48 hours.

During the next couple weeks the federal government will be working with the local government here in Keller to get rid of this killer threat. Beware of any cold like symptoms, and if you start feeling a very high build up of pressure in any of your limbs, you know you have the Blanco Plagoo.