10 Ways To Keep Your Insanity In Order


Jessica Hoffman

Photo and Culture Editor

Do you need more insanity in your life? Then you have come to the right place. The purpose of this list is to provide you with things that will insure that you maintain an appropriate level of insanity. So stop what you are doing, sit down, and read it.

  1. Go to a restaurant, any restaurant, and order a diet water with a straight face.
  2. Wear a t-shirt that says life and hand out lemons (hopefully you get my reference).
  3. Fill a mayonnaise jar with vanilla pudding, go to a random park, then start eating out of the jar.
  4. Call someone to tell them that you cannot talk right now.
  5. The next time someone yells at you, just hand them a snickers bar and say, “You’re not you when you’re hungry.”
  6. Suck helium out of a balloon then walk behind someone and say, “Follow the yellow brick road!”
  7. Go into a crowded elevator, fold your arms, and say, “I’m sure you all are wondering why I called you here today.”
  8. End every sentence with “In accordance with the Prophecy”.
  9. When the money comes out of the ATM, scream, “I won! I won!”
  10. When leaving a zoo, run as fast a you can in the direction of the parking lot and scream, “They’re loose! Run for your lives!”

Hopefully this list inspired you to increase your insanity level by at least 20%. Have a nice day, and remember, sanity is overrated.