Valentine’s Day: CONSPIRACY

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Is Valentine’s Day a conspiracy?

Kate Lang, Staff Writer

Yes. It is that time of the year. Say a prayer.

The dreaded day is almost here: Valentine’s Day.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I love the whole bubbly feeling of the day. If you have a significant other, it is the perfect way to just spend one day of making that person feel extra loved (so they don’t complain throughout the rest of the year).

But one thing has always crossed my mind when I look at the idea of Valentine’s day: Why the heck am I spending so much money?

My theory of Valentine’s Day is that the government’s goal is to make Americans spend more and more money on stupid holidays, starting with Valentine’s Day, to cause an increase of imports with foreign companies and soon lead to World Domination without anyone realizing it.

For example, let’s say you buy your girlfriend or boyfriend a teddy bear from Target. That teddy bear was most likely made in China. So, the bear was made in China then imported into the United States. The more we import from China the better relationship we have with their nation.

Then, you buy your significant other a box of chocolate. That chocolate had to be originally bought from where cocoa beans originate from, Mexico or Central America. This increases rate of business with these different countries located in Central America.

And finally, you buy a piece of jewelry with a diamond in it. The two largest and most successful diamond mines in the world are located in Russia and Botswana.

You get the point.

The American government has pushed Valentine’s Day onto our society though commercials, newspapers, magazines, and even through our social media. Seeing other people with “perfect lives” and “perfect valentines” on Instagram makes jealousy run through your veins to have those perfections as well. They even put reminders like “be mine?” on our candy!

The American government has made our society think we need to make Valentine’s Day perfect by buying gifts that are imported from other countries, therefore making our relations with foreign countries stronger, thus gaining power throughout the world leading to oblivious world domination.