Ben Wiche, Staff Writer

Ben Wiche, Staff Writer

Put down that chainsaw and listen to me.

If some renegade time traveler burst into my room this very second, pulled a glowing neon future-bomb out of his purse, and told me he was either going to take me back to 2014, get me a job doing some pleasant, meaningless task (salmon throwing perhaps) to do instead of high school, or blow up my house, which would I choose?

These are the questions one is forced to ponder when writing a senior tribute (Trust me!)

Now call me crazy, but I think I’d let him blow up my house. Even though school is a pain, and a burden, and a bad place I wouldn’t even send my worst enemies to, I do think the education served a purpose. Not just the educating in the regular subjects of math, science, pit fighting etc., but also the incredible social education that’s come with it. Not gonna lie, when I look back at who I was and the way I acted, I can’t help but let out a heavily cringe-laden sigh. But throughout high school, I’ve learned how to be a good friend, make meaningful communication, and even find a true sense of my own personality that’s not just based around the pop culture I enjoy.

Was it perfect? Are you kidding? I, like everyone, had my share of awkward feelings, personal screw ups, existential worrying, and troubles with authority. I’ve seen some things I wish I hadn’t. Didn’t do some things I wish I had. Had a horrible diet, that’s for sure.

But I do believe that high school was overall a net positive. Definitely wouldn’t change a thing about it. It is a pointless game after all to say, “What if X happened, what if Y didn’t.” What’s past is past; change that stuff, and you could change the present in a multitude of scary spooky scary ways.

Forgive me if this seems broad. Not really into the whole serious public blog thing.

Also, sorry to all the youths out their who thought they would find some thoughtful advice in this column. Take my word, this is only memes from here on down.

Uhhh bu bu bu….schools! Schools. I switched schools. Right before senior year in fact. From a private school. A big fancy one with big fancy uniforms and a big fancy half-hour commute. So going from that to a public school…actually hasn’t been that big of a change. Besides the drive and switching up most of the people who I hang out with IRL, not much has changed. School is school. It’s all the same.

So now there’s nothing left to do but countdown the days, the time on the clock that tick-tocks as I rock in my chair…brother.

END