The Seduction Of Target


Celeste Bleeker, Staff Writer

According to a recent study, shoppers who regularly shop at Target are more likely to spend both more time and money than other shoppers. What is the cause of this phenomenon? It is known as the Seduction of Target — a deadly trap for those who venture in.

From the moment you walk in, it becomes clear that you will stay for a long, long time. The cutesy “Dollar Section” that boasts of tiny trinkets, sure to astound and delight also doubles as a way to spend more money than you were willing to because “It’s Just A Dollar.” But in the words of General Ackbar, “IT’S A TRAP!”

If you ever manage to pull yourself away from the “Dollar Section”, you will soon become transfixed by their self-proclaimed “low-prices,” which never cease to fill you with an urge to buy all of it. One could peruse the makeup aisles for hours on end and fill their cart up just to put it all back because they have no money. But that will never stop people from being drawn back again and again to spend their entire paycheck on things they don’t need, but that are soooo cute.

Don’t even get me started on the clothes sections. By the time you finish browsing, you will be laden down from the weight of dozens of articles of clothing to try on. The whole clearance rack makes its way into your cart, regardless of the size or color because “It’s clearance!”

The moral of this story is to put all your money in a secure location, preferably locked up by someone close to you, who knows not to let you spend it all at Target. Beware the seduction of Target.