“Chicking” Out Keller’s Fried Obsession

Back by popular demand, we Uber Americans decided to rank chicken from different fast food chains. We each drove through restaurants and brought it to one designated place. Now this might not seem like a huge feat, but considering I hit two curbs and some flowers in the drive through, I am lucky I made it to Cindy and Jamie without any popped tires. As we sat to eat our fried chicken like a bunch of Uber Americans, the aroma of fried, oily goodness filled our nose with a pinch of a fishy smell, which worried us a little bit.

Of course the fishy smell came from none other than McDonald’s. Our four  pale tan “chicken” nuggets sat in a petite cardboard box. Seeing the nuggets reminded us all of our cherished childhood where we unfortunately ate fake meat. This particular chicken terrified me the most. It didn’t even appear to be chicken, and they all possessed the same exact shape, as if they were prototypes of each other. When I put it in my mouth, I spat it out faster than Usain Bolt running the 200M. It didn’t even taste like chicken, but maybe because I could not get my mind off the many preservatives in it. We decided to give this a 1.5 out of 5.

The next chicken on our agenda was Sonic. As a kid, I always got the popcorn chicken with BBQ sauce, so I thought this would be like a walk down memory lane. However, lately I have heard some rumors from friends who work there. They basically warned to not get the meat and everything else is frozen food then cooked. The only safe items are the ice creams and drinks, but at least this is good, because I am a huge fan of the peanut butter chocolate shake. The chicken consisted mainly of fried batter with only a sliver of chicken. If you are wanting fried batter, I suggest you hit up Sonic. But if you prefer to have chicken, then Sonic would not be the restaurant. We gave Sonic a 2 out 5.

Next, we tried Whataburger’s chicken, which was decent. It wasn’t special, but it wasn’t inedible. The gravy made it more credible. It was a nice asset to the chicken and gave it a southern feel. The chicken was fair and the gravy was thick, creamy goodness. We rated it a 2.5 out of 5.

Next, we tried Chicken Express. Since chicken is in the name, we all had high expectations for their meat. Their chicken didn’t disappoint, but it didn’t satisfy us to our highest potential. It was also a lot paler in color than the other chicken. The chicken seemed like it was lightly covered with batter, so it didn’t give off a crunchy, crispy chicken flavor. But the gravy on the side was pretty good because of its buttery flavor, although we felt it lacked a creamy consistency. We rated it a 3.5 out of 5.

Afterwards, we tried the oh-so-famous Chick-fil-A. Natalie, Cindy and I are all big Chick-fil-A fans, but we made sure to put our biased opinions aside. Surprisingly, the chicken seemed abnormally small, which shocked us. Although it was small it still had its signature crunch. Unlike McDonald’s, the chicken tasted naturally like chicken. You could tell their chicken is made fresh because of its succulent flavor. We rated it a 4.5 out of 5.

Finally, we sampled our One Love, Raising Cane’s.  We opened the styrofoam box that nicely insulated the warmth and delicious smell of the chicken strips. The chicken was white (and actually looked like chicken, unlike McDonald’s). It was breaded the best out of all the chicken we tried. Ample chicken in the strip, and just enough breading so it didn’t overpower the taste of the chicken. It also had the best flavor, and didn’t taste like your plain ol’ average chicken strip. It was cooked to perfection and the meat fell apart when it touched  our mouths. We gave the Cane’s chicken a 5 out of 5.

So, to wrap it…

McDonald’s – 1.5

-smells like fish

-crusty pieces of unknown specimen

-doesn’t taste like chicken

-terrible service

Sonic – 2

-gave toy

-no meat, mostly just fried batter

-no flavor

-okay service

Whataburger – 2.5

-tasted like chicken

-good with gravy

-inconsistent shape

-Southern taste

-decent service

Chicken Express – 3.5

-buttery gravy

-not very creamy

-not as fried (minimum batter)

-chicken had a pale color

-okay service

Chick-fil-A – 4.5

-seems small

-crunchy

-tastes natural

-impeccable, succulent

-good service

Raising Cane’s – 5

-juicy

-warm

-good size

-white meat

-good service

-flavorful