Battle of the Cookies

Michelle Mirza, Editorials/Two Cents & That's Rad Editor

The time has finally come. The end of our days is near. I may lose close friendships after this article, but will that stop me? The answer is as clear as when people ask if I have any motivation left in me: no. Here is an official top five ranking of the ethereal beings this incredibly cruel world was blessed with: cookies.

  1. Chocolate Chip – These are an absolute classic. This cookie flavor is the definition of home and comfort and all things nice in the world. If anyone wants to fight me on this you can cash me ousside, howbowdah?
  2. Brookies – They’re brownies and cookies melded together. Enough said. This combination is stronger than my will to finish out this semester (anything is stronger honestly).
  3. White Chocolate Chip Macadamia Nut – I can slap you across the face faster than you can argue that this cookie is not a blessing to the entire human race. White chocolate, foreign nuts you can vaguely pronounce, what’s not to like?
  4. Triple Chocolate Chip – White chocolate and milk chocolate chips in a chocolate batter. Drown me to death in this chocolate madness and I will be eternally content.
  5. Snickerdoodle – Cinnamon sugar on top of a sugar cookie? Diabetes never tasted so good? You can never go wrong with a deadly double dose of high fructose corn syrup.

*700. Oatmeal Raisin – The only reason this cookie is even on this list is because it serves as a great gift to anyone whose existence is a pain to your entire being.