Finding Solutions for Resolutions

Abby Wormsbaker, Staff Writer

Within the last year and a half, I have been thinking a lot about what happens to people between the ages of adolescence and becoming an adult. How somewhere between those thin lines of being a toddler, to a teenager, and soon quickly to an adult, we are pressured into thinking realistically and into making big decisions that we aren’t too sure about making because of the burden of fear and distress. I also noticed how as children we are mesmerized by almost everything, and how nothing could take away our curiosity for things.

But as I dove deeper into this topic, I realized why everything seemed so much easier as a child and how jumping right in seemed less scary than just dipping a toe in. Fear used to be a stranger to most people, until it introduced itself later on in the early years of being a teenager.

As most people can agree, one of the main questions asked when younger is “what do you want to be when you grow up?” The answers range from a doctor, a nurse, an author, to a princess, a ballerina, a firefighter, and even an actor.  The truth is clear, though; children so young haven’t seen the world yet and don’t know the discouragement they may encounter or the complications that could potentially come with those career dreams. So we live out most of our early years with the burning desire to pursue those dreams. But have you noticed the pattern that somewhere along the way, most people change their mind and chose something else? How suddenly their “Plan B” or even their “Plan C” become more realistic only because it seems to be easier? Most of the time it is because we, as humans, change our mind constantly, and that’s normal. But what about the ones who always strived to be a doctor or an author? Did they give up because it was too complicated, or they didn’t feel cut out for the job? Or were they discouraged along the way because they realized how silly it seemed to continue working towards the job they had been told “no” for one too many times.

I’ve had the same goals since I was a child: to write and inspire as many people as I possibly can. But somewhere between the ages of 15 and 17 years old, I began to really doubt myself due to the lack of inspiration and motivation I had to write stories, poems, and even articles. I couldn’t identify what was wrong. I searched for a conclusion by reading more books, magazines, watching more films, and even going to coffee shops to write journal prompts in hopes of sparking ideas. But nothing was working. Several months later, I found myself reading a book in the game room of my cousins’ house. I was distracted several times by small movement: birds flying across the sky, by rain tapping the windows, and even the chatter coming from downstairs. As I turned my head, I noticed my 10-year-old cousin with her eyes glued to the pages of her book for hours and hours without being distracted by anything.

Suddenly I remembered what it was like being her age: my eyes glued to books 24/7 without any distractions and feeling inspired by the words I was reading. Once more I thought to myself, “What happened? Why is it so hard to focus on this simple book? Why don’t I read or write more often like I used to?” I questioned myself countless amounts of times over whether or not I really believed that I was cut out for the careers I’ve always dreamed of doing and if I really wanted to even pursue them. I didn’t want to give up the dream, so that’s why I invested myself into trying to figure out what I could do to basically…start over.

I began to rewatch the movies and reread the books that inspired me so deeply as a child. I wanted to see if anything inside me would spark like it once did when I was young. It was as though my goal was to try to think like I did when I was 7 to 11 years old, to be mesmerized by the little things and so invested in a book that I read it for hours and hours without being distracted. I studied the actions and words spoken by my younger cousins and kids I’d encounter at the library or at movie theaters. Optimistic, cheerful, and innocent were the only words that stood out to me.

For the year of 2018, I have made it my resolution to read a new book every week, to watch a movie every few days, and even write down messy thoughts about my day…  all like I used to when I was young. Growing up doesn’t have to mean maturing your mind into boredom and dullness. Find what makes you happy and just live the best life you can offer yourself.