The Big Proposal

Nia Ramsey, Staff Writer

A moment. A point in our life we should remember for all of our lives. It will happen right after the curtain falls on a certain day where nighttime silence learns the rhythms of our youth, yes, this is the special occasion of the homecoming dance.

Now, what I am about to say is going to counter exactly what I have written above; I hate homecoming, more specifically, I hate the nature of the students who think that if you are asking someone to go with you, then, you must make it an extra extravagant proposal. Now, for the select few that do, my question is why?

Homecoming is not your wedding proposal. It is intended to be a thrilling and laid back event that you spend with friends or a significant other. Although it is emphasized quite a lot in high school, the importance of how you ask equals that of asking someone to the movies. Do you get in front of a hundred or so people in lunch and sing them a cliche love song from the 60’s? Do you stand on top the lockers and have friends in grass skirts and tops dance and hold a sign if you were inquiring if your crush would like to be your date to the movie? Nope and double nope; you just ask them privately.

Whether hilarious, serious, romantic, no matter the form, the homecoming proposals that are going overboard and need to stop. It is doing something huge for a small point in your history. A wedding would be something that affects both you and your significant other for the long run, so, yes, you might want to do something extravagant in that proposal. Going to a homecoming game or dance is not something you need to be busting out your most elaborate plan for. That’s ridiculous.

I understand that some people may just want their crush to know how much it would mean to them if they went and that is perfectly fine. The problem that I find is that there are more spectacular ways to do it while doing the most simple thing.

There is an unscathed beauty in words. Words are what shape our feelings, our passions, our heart’s desired conversation. When a person, no matter the circumstance, speaks from their heart, ears will listen, and other hearts will learn to talk as well. That is to say, expressing it to them in person, in private, with all of these intents, are more meaningful than doing something ”goofy”.

Giant, highly invested in items or organization, does indeed look good to the eye and pleases those who receive it. For me to say that people do not like these types of homecoming proposals would be absolutely preposterous. I am saying those approaches have a time and a place: a time and a place not designated for the homecoming.

Another issue with certain homecoming goers today, especially in our very school are mums.

Mums: the colossal, constant jingling noise you hear in your quick descent into impatience and insanity, they are objects that, in a traditional form, are given to the girls to signify that yes, they have been asked to go to homecoming. It seems like every year they just get bigger and BIGGER. This is the climax of overdoing it for homecoming.

There are several complications about mums. The first would be that if girls cannot even go into the door without having to play spin around, then, that is telling you something. The second is that there are people who cannot focus in school with noises and distractions and mums amplify each. Lastly, there are students who struggle with self-appreciation and wonder if they are attractive or not and when they see people everywhere happy with mums – the symbol of being asked out – and look at the romance aspect of it, they could in fact feel down about themselves.

The romantic aspect of homecoming is not something I am saying to halt. I ask for an awareness of how much we put too much emphasis on it. I get it. It is supposed to be a thrilling occasion of dance and creating a memory with your friends or high school sweetheart before the present bleeds into a future far away from each other. The sentiment of this event is not what stirs a boiling cauldron of chemical emotions inside my stomach nor is it the fun that people have that makes my heart ache. However, how the student body has manipulated the meaning makes me ill.

What do I mean by this? Simple. Some students ask accusatory questions on why they do not want to go like it is wrong to not want to go. Some have even focused it into a romantic declaration.

It aggravates me when I sit at a lunch table and all my other friends are confused on why I do not want to go to homecoming and bring anyone–especially, a date. Year after year, students who feel the way I do and do not care for receiving a mum or spending time with your friends in that manner have had to deal with an influx of judgement.

“Well, I don’t think it’s cool that they judge me. I’m not good in social situations and it bothers me because it’s my personal business if I want to go with someone or not.”  a student said.

There has to be a reason why some students are pushing an expectation of romance on what should be a casual and optional activity. I like to believe that the reason the romantic aspect of the homecoming is increasingly more and more important to homecoming is because of the subliminal and societal peer pressure and the perceptions that we have as high schoolers about love and engaging in romantic love.

However, everyone has things that appeal to them and don’t. If going to the homecoming dance does not interest a person, then, leave them alone. Ultimately, it is their opinion and it is what they want to do and nobody is going to get hurt from it.