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The Forbidden Fruit

Ashlyn Dodson, Staff Writer

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The search for fine cuisine at an affordable price is a struggle most people, except the incredibly affluent or incredibly uncultured, know. Today, with restaurant prices steadily inclining, it’s no wonder the vast majority turn to plentiful (and disgraceful) choices of fast food and TV dinners. For the select few that seek more from their culinary experience, options are limited. But today, fellow culinary enthusiasts, look no further for your foodie fix. Popular laundry detergent brand Tide has taken the food industry by storm with it’s temptingly tasty Tide Pods, lovingly dubbed the “Forbidden Fruit” by fans.

In a matter of weeks, Tide Pods have grown so popular that the well-known diet food company Weight Watchers has included a fat-free version in their new program, Freestyle, endorsed by none other than Oprah Winfrey. In a press release issued on Tuesday, Winfrey said, “I love Tide Pods.”

Other stars have also joined the Tide Pod bandwagon. Gwyneth Paltrow, who is widely known for being a health and wellness guru, has also endorsed the popular pods. “I’m just really into clean eating,” Paltrow said, “and, like, what’s more clean than soap?” Excellent point, Ms. Paltrow.

While some dietitians and physicians claim that Tide Pods are toxic and shouldn’t, under any circumstance, be eaten, there is nothing, beside a few deaths, to actually prove this point.

Of course, there are health risks. As with any food bought at the store, there’s always a chance of poisoning or mispackaging, but the slim chance of this actually affecting the consumer is nothing to worry about. And for the low price of 16 pods at $5.98, the risk is definitely worth the reward.

Fellow foodies, you’re encouraged to take the Tide Pod Challenge, and see for yourself the true meaning of the phrase “culinary art.”

 

“The Turnip” is a source of parody, satire, and humor and is for entertainment purposes only. Said posts or stories may or may not use real names, always in semi-real and/or mostly, or substantially, fictitious ways. Therefore, all news articles contained within “The Turnip” are works of fiction and constitute fake news. Any resemblance to the truth is purely coincidental, except for all references to politicians and/or celebrities, in which case they are based on real people, but still based almost entirely in fiction.

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The Forbidden Fruit