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Ketchup Crisis

Ashlyn Dodson, Staff Writer

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Let me begin by saying that I respect and appreciate the cafeteria staff here and do not hold them at all responsible for the unfortunate circumstance explored hereafter. However, the responsibility of the newspaper is to inform the student body on current and pressing issues, so I strongly believe it’s time we started discussing the ketchup crisis.

The cafeteria is a place of consumption and camaraderie, where students get a break from the mental strain of schoolwork. Most of the time, the cafeteria serves this purpose well. However, for far too long there has been a dwindling supply of ketchup in the cafeteria. First and second lunch students are usually safe, but by the time third and fourth lunch roll around, the condiment bar becomes a place of loss and desperation.  

The campus boasts a “tradition of excellence.” Academically, that may be so. But I ask you, can smiley fries be excellent without ketchup? No. Keller is great because it goes above and beyond the bare minimum. I respectfully ask that we carry that practice into the cafeteria.

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Ketchup Crisis